The one phrase that changed the way I think about reaching my goals
I was on a run the other day listening to one of my favorite books: High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Became That Way. I heard a phrase that stuck with me: “commitment hurts.” The phrase came from a life coach named Brendan Burchard. I know this sounds lame; the idea that reaching your goals, whether it’s weight loss or otherwise, is painful. But stick with me. There’s a brighter side to this idea too.
According to Brendan, commitment or progress hurts because of three things: uncertainty, judgement and discomfort. But, he says, if you embrace these things head on, rather than quitting when the going gets tough, you’re able to find the grit to stick with your goals and make big things happen in your life. Let’s break that down.
1. Progress brings uncertainty
Striving toward your goals brings uncertainty. You’re trying something new, that you’ve potentially failed at before, or have never done before. This feeling of vulnerability can feel terrifying. It’s completely normal. We all want to change our lives in someway. It’s those that are able to draw energy from being in the moment, embracing vulnerability and believing in your ability to figure things out, that will make progress. Be willing to venture out into the unknown and trust yourself that you’re going to be able to do it. Let go of perfection and say, "I’m going to just try."
2. Other people may not understand
There is a natural, human desire to put someone in a box. The world knows you one way and they expect you to stay that way. So when you’re trying something new people can feel uncomfortable. When someone judges you for your third try at a new lifestyle, or for pushing for that new job, you just need to remember that who you are is not tethered to the past. Every day you get to choose. How disciplined am I going to be today? It is your life and you get to decide what it stands for. Reality is, most people have your back they just need to get used to the change, the new you. As Brandon puts it, eventually you’ll start to feel some momentum, and that is when people will have your back. That is when you’ll get questions like, “Wow you look great. What are you doing?” It is this momentum that will fuel your motivation and help you make progress toward your goal.
3. Commitment hurts
The thing that stops most people from meeting their goals is the assumption that progress doesn’t hurt. This is so funny because we all know that doing something new, or striving toward a goal is often met with challenge, discomfort, late nights and giving up some other things you might enjoy. We all know we will struggle with the discipline to stay focused. But for some reason, when that discomfort comes, it freaks us out, and we stop!
Striving toward your goals will try your soul, mind and body. But something Brandon said really stuck with me. “Thank God it’s not easy. It’s only in tough times that your character is exposed and forged. It is only in the difficult times that your path becomes meaningful and worthwhile.” So the next time you’re on a long run and want to quit, or you have to exchange your late night TV watching for a sweat session in the gym, look inward and find joy in the path to reaching your goals. When commitment starts to hurt, that’s when you know you’re doing the right thing. You’re taking steps toward the thing that probably means the most to you and there isn’t a better feeling than that.
Brendan also filmed a YouTube video about these ideas. You should watch it, it’s amazing: https://youtu.be/r6awAC0zfvw. In all, I hope these ideas help you embrace the difficulty of progress and that you go into the week with grit, optimism and motivation to crush it. Happy Monday!
XO,
Ronnie